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DAWN FARM’S RESPONSE TO THE “I WAS DRUNK” QUESTION
Our addiction treatment clients that we refer to a batterer intervention program often respond to their referral with a question like this one:
“I only abused her one time and I was drunk and in a black out. If I’m powerless over alcohol, how can I be responsible for this? My case and sentence to ADA are completely unfair. I’m an alcoholic not a batterer.”
This is our response:
- CD and DV are both primary problems. They may interact in a synergistic way but one does not cause the other. Therefore both need to be treated independently.
- Recovery requires that we take responsibility for all of our actions during our use whether we were in a blackout or not. This means learning from the consequences of our actions and accepting the consequences for those actions.
- Many alcoholics do things in blackouts and have problems while using that they wish to dismiss when they get clean. (e.g. child abuse or neglect, promiscuity, overspending, gambling or other compulsive behaviors.) We believe it is wrong to simply write these things off with the statement “I was using then and I’m clean now.” Experience has taught us that these problems often follow people into recovery and to ignore them would mean risking repeating these behaviors and relapse. In some cases professional help is needed, in cases where these behaviors harmed another person, getting professional help from an expert in that area is the prudent and responsible course of action.
- Violence is rarely an isolated incident. Overwhelmingly it is preceded with other abusive behaviors. Therefore, any instance of violence is cause for serious concern and intervention. In addition, alcoholics and addicts (in general) are prone to thinking their case is different or unique, this thinking should not be trusted in most areas of life and should never be trusted in instances of violence.
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